I hold my hands up, feminism confuses the hell out of me!

The very word Feminism confuses the hell out of me. I understand what it means, please don’t get me wrong. it’s the notion of being a feminist that confuses me. 

  I realise modern society expects me to be a feminist, but I shy away from it because of the more heavily covered extreme end of the feminist spectrum. 

Sometimes the mere thought of talking about it has me running and hiding for cover. It’s the reaction from that probably very small level of extremism, that scares me away from sharing my thoughts on the subject.

Alas, I’ve have gone and opened that can of worms now, so here we go. I’m ready to duck for cover if necessary. (Joke! I promise)

So here’s where I’m at.

If feminism means being treated equally on all levels of life, then yes I am a feminist. Of course I am glad I have the right to vote, be equally educated and say no to sex when I don’t want it. To me though that all forms part of basic human rights and something I probably have taken for granted. 

Fortunately in the UK we legally have all these things, though I’m not naive enough to not be aware that for some women this is still unfortunately not the case. This is where I feel feminism has it’s place. 

However If feminism means that I have to feel shame about the fact that I am a stay at home mum,  (note I don’t say full time mum as when I was working that term used to piss me right off),  heaven forbid reliant on my husband to bring home the bacon, then I’m going to say “thanks, but no thanks, not for me”.

You see, when I read the idealist view this is often how I’m made to feel. This isn’t my own inadequacy, I can assure you, I love my life. I tried the whole women can have it all thing, juggling work, kids, uni, all whilst trying to maintain a happy marriage, and guess what I dropped several of those balls. Quite spectacuarlly I might add, there was a very loud crash in my life. 

I was constantly stressed, miserable in fact, and I was taking it all out on my husband. Now I have less balls to juggle I’m far happier, so is my family life. It just means in terms of earning my keep,  I’m not equal. This particular feminist idioligy doesn’t fit with my current sittuation in life. I’m everything that women have fought against, to the outsider my sum of existence in life is all about minding the kids and our home. Oh and that other Elephant in the room? Yes I rely on my husband to provide for us.   

What isn’t evident for all to see though is I’m an Open University student, I have career dreams for the future, just not right now. I care as much about equal pay as women that do work. It’s scandalous that two people can be doing exactly the same job equally well, but because one has lady bits she is paid less than her male counterpart. 

Maybe it’s because my Husband has always treated me as an equal, that I’ve never had to give feminism much  of a thought. It was a joint descision when I stopped working because it would effect both of our lives. We have a joint bank account, have done for years way before I gave up work, it just means I don’t have to go running to him every time I need to go food shopping for example. He trusts me not to go blowing his wages. Household finances come first but we both have an even set amount of pocket money to spend as we wish. Do you see what I mean by being treated as equal? 

To me though this is just normal, it’s what happens when you form a partnership with that special someone and have children together. Someone becomes the chief child carer and the other the main breadwinner. Even when I was working I’ve barely earnt enough to cover what he is deducted in taxes, mine just wouldn’t have been a living wage. 

 He has often said if I was able to earn a higher wage than him he wouldn’t be troubled by a role reversal. It would just make financial sense, and that is as far as the subject would go. Mind you, by the time I have finished my degree, all of my kids will be in secondary school or college anyway so that’s kind of a mute point. 

Do you see why I am so confused about where feminism plays a role in my life? I know It does obviously, but I just don’t relate to some of what being a good feminist entails. 

What I do appriciate though is that because of feminist campaigners I have the choices that I am blessed with today. If life does go a bit tits up then I only have myself to blame, nobody has forced me into that situation. I don’t feel the need to blame my mishaps on the fact that I am a girl. 

What do you think? Do you get confused about what feminism is or where it fits into your life? Does it worry you voicing your thoughts on this subject? 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂

Advertisements

May favourites!!

So I’m a wee bit late with this one, I think I need to get my act together. Life has been very busy lately and June seems to have crept up on me. Not that you would know it was June, it’s blowing a gale and pouring it down with rain right now. (Oh hang that’s normal in the UK!)  

 Any way ramble over, let’s get in with sharing my May favourites. 

Cocoa Brown Gentle Bronze Gradual Tanner £5.99 

  

I love this stuff so much, I have raved about this many times over the pass month, on many a form of social media or just to anyone that will listen. Hence It couldn’t be left out of this favourites post. 

If you want to see a full review then check out this previous post here.

H20+ Spa Sea Salt skin smoother £20.

  As I’ve been using tanning products a lot lately it makes sense that I’ve been reaching for a body scrub regularly.  

This one I absolutely love, it has the right balance between scrubbiness and moisturising. 

I’m not going to lie, £20 is a bit steep for a bodyscrub. I didn’t actually pay that for it as It was part of an offer when they stocked it in Marks & Spencer. I can only find it on Amazon now though. I would actually repurchase this though and pay the full £20. Crazy I know, but it’s that good. 

The Bodyshop Banana conditioner £4.50

  This stuff smells AMAZING!! It also leaves my hair feeling super soft and tangle free. As you can see I’m running out of this now BOO! 

I will be purchasing this again in the future, I just need to use up some of my stash first. 

T.V 

Programmes I’m loving right now are Game of Thones and the ITV drama Home fires. 

Image source: ITV.com

Not so loving though the fact that I am up to date on both of these, so have to go all old school and wait patiently for next weeks episodes. 

Last nights Game of Thrones was pretty epic, next Monday seems such a long way away, the suspense is killing me.

Random Stuff

Instagram 

Oh Instagram I love you! Yup it’s becoming a bit of an addiction, whether it’s looking at other peoples pretty pics or adding my own. If you interested in taking a peek at my page my user name is KATY_STANDEN. 

Let’s get crafting knitting and Crochet Magazine £8.99 monthly. 

  If you are into knitting or crochet this magazine is pretty darn good. It comes with loads of patterns and the kit so you can make them. 

I’m a fidget bum, so rather than be playing with my phone in the evening, I do a bit of knitting. My husband much prefers this to me having my nose constantly in twitter.

I love this magazine so much I’m actually counting down the days till I can buy the next issue. (tiny bit geeky, ha ha) It’s 19th June FYI, just incase. 

 So that’s my round up of my favourite things in May. 

What so you think of my current favourites? 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂

My latest thrift store find – getting over my snobbish attitude!

Hi guys, today I wanted to share with you a little treasure I picked up on a recent trip to a local charity shop. 

    I love having a little snoop around every now and again just to see what treasures I can find. Gone are the days when I used to only venture in if I needed a retro dressing up costume. Shamefully I would  spend ages looking around before entering just to make sure no one who new me could see me shopping in one. Yup, how stupid is that.  

Thankfully I’ve shaken of that awkwardness. I think it was because I used to think that people who shopped in thrift stores did so because they were poor, and had no other choice. How lame is that!

For a start it is so not the case. Thrifting for many a person is a smart life style choice, regardless of whether you have to watch your penny’s or not. When I look at other peoples blogs who are into thrifting it often amazes me the unique treasures they find. 

So yeah, confession time over, let me show you my latest find.

This is a cast iron plant stand I believe. It’s  friggen heavy anyway, I know that because I lugged it home in my back pack. Original use besides I have it say pride of place in my newly decorated bathroom storing all my LUSH goodies.  

 I think it looks fab, and goes perfectly with my outdoorsy industrial theme I have going on. 

What do you think of my latest find? Do you love or hate a thrift store? 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂

Getting back into the Gym, and beginning to rebuild my fitness.

Hi guys, 

Today is another one of those more personal posts. If you have been a reader of my blog for a little while then you may be aware that I have had some issues with my personal health and mobility. 

At the start of the year I couldn’t walk without a crutch, and was constantly in pain. This had gone on since I had collapsed and was taken to hospital in April last year. At the time I was discharged with a bag of pills and pair of crutches. Immediate thoughts from the doctors were that I had sciatica, and that it would go away in a couple of weeks.  

    Unfortunately it didn’t, and by christmas I was still unable to walk without a crutch. I even had to use them when I was a bridesmaid for my big sister. Sorry Michelle, they are so in many a wedding picture! 

  Basically I was experiencing some major upheaval  in my life. As I was no longer able to do my job I had to resign. My job involved me being on my feet all day, and allthough my employers were good about the amount of sick leave I had taken they couldn’t hold my job open indefinately. 

I was also getting used to not having the level of fitness and loss of independence I was used to having. I’ve always walked everywhere when possible, and not being able to do this was frustrating. As I couldn’t operate the clutch in my car either I couldn’t even drive myself to the places I needed to be. By this point I was beginning to fear the worst, what the hell was actually wrong with me? 

Thankfully several investigations later they did find out what actually was wrong. Though it was going to take me a while to get better, it was not as bad as my imagination had been running wild with. I had scholiosis, stemming from a twisted pelvis. This was trapping the nerve in the front of my left leg, causing constant pain and stopping my leg functioning properly. 

Thanks to  the support of my physiotherapist, and the patience of my husband as well I must add, those crutches are long gone and we are working on rebuilding my strength, and getting my fitness back.

  

The scholiosis has been corrected through physio, though it still pops out of place sometimes, trapping the nerve again. I have been taught to correct this through exercise myself now though. 

I’m pleased to say that I have moved into the rehabilitation stage of my recovery. The lack of mobility has meant I had a fair bit of muscle wastage so I’m working on rebuilding muscular strength. Two weeks ago I actually joined the gym again. Though it’s slow going and seems like I’m barely doing anything sometimes before I’m knackered, there is definately progress being made. For one thing, I’m less reliant on pain relief now I have leant some adjustment techniques. I’m beginning to feel like a normal human being again. 

So that is wher I’m at right now! If you have stuck with me on this fairly self indulgent ramble thank you. Sometimes it feels good to just get your thoughts out there. I’m thinking about doing progress updates, what do you think? 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂

OOTD – #DPdressesthenation 

Hi guys!

 Today’s post is a little bit of fun really, I haven’t done an OOTD in ages so this seemed the perfect excuse to. Have you seen Dorothy Perkins instacomp? Well they are asking you to share a picture of yourself on Instagram sporting your favourite DP dress, tagged with #DPdressesthenation. The prize is a years supply of dresses from Dorothy Perkins. What a cool prize!!

This is my favourite dress at the moment, I just love the print and the fit of it. Excuse the squinty furrowed brow in the picture but it was so bright and sunny out I couldn’t stop squinting. We must of taken a about 20 pictures! Hmmm I really need to buy some new sunnies. 

 

Dress – Dorothy Perkins, Belt & Tights -Primark, Boots -Very, leather jacket – French Connection. 

Thanks for stopping by, do share your #DPdressthenation pictures below if you are entering, I’d love to see your favourite dress. 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂 

7 tips for Living with Vitamin B12 deficiency 

Today is very much a personal post. It is one that I wanted to share though as it is something that I didn’t know much about untill I was diagnosed with this condition, last year. 

Vitamin B12 is one of the essential vitamins needed to help keep the body’s nervous system functioning as it should. 

  

Someone who is lacking in B12 can experience several different symptoms including;

Extreme tiredness

Lethargy

Muscle weakness

Pins and Needles

Memory problems and difficulty with understanding and judgement 

Depression 

Problems with vision 

I could go on but I don’t want to bore you to much, these though are the main symptoms I have experienced.  

The natural source of Vitamin B12 is found from eating meat fish and dairy products. This is why vegans can be at a greater risk of developing a Vitamin B12 deficiency. If you are a vegan then it may be worth taking a B12 supplement to avoid this. 

I am not a vegan or a vegetarian, so the cause for me is very different. My deficiency is caused by pernicious anaemia, an auto-immune condition. Basically this means that I don’t have enough intrinsic factor in my intestines that is responsible for absorbing Vitamin B12 and creating healthy red blood cells, leaving me generally feeling like poo. 

This seems to be a hereditary condition in my family as, my little sister, mum and a couple of cousins all have it. 

Fortunately it’s relatively easy to treat. for me it involves popping along to the doctors every 8 weeks for a Vitamin B12 Injection. This usually sees me back on fighting form, though for the 1-2 weeks before I’m due my next jab it can be a challenge managing symptoms. I often feel like I’m running on empty and just getting out of bed in the morning can be a challenge in itself.

I have found there are a few things I can do that make this time easier, so I thought it would be a good idea to share a few tips on how I manage. You never know someone reading this might be struggling to manage their B12 deficiency and this may help. 

  1. When you have a burst of energy it can be tempting to rush about trying to get all those jobs that need doing done. Instead make a list and then prioritise, it’s easier to pace yourself this way and avoid burning out. 
  2. This may sound blindingly obvious, but try to get to bed a sensible time. A good night sleep will mean you feel better for it in the morning. 
  3. Don’t skip meals as this will depleat your energy sources more quickly. 
  4. Secondly don’t  skip your injections, these are so important. It can take time for a normal level of B12 to build up in your system, missing injections will lower your levels. 
  5. Originally my Injections were only every 12 weeks, I was getting to week 8 and would spend the next month exhausted. You don’t have to put up with this. I had a chat with my doctor and he agreed to let me have the injections on a more regular scale. I feel much better for it. 
  6. Don’t be afraid to speak to your employer and let them know that you have the condition, and how it can effect you. My employer was really understanding, I was able to take a small extra break if needed during my bad weeks. Most good employers would accommodate this as it means your not taking a sick day. 
  7. Some times when all else fails take that after noon nap. Don’t feel guilty about it. There will be times that you are so freekin tired all you want to do is sleep. Just don’t do it for too long or you will mess up you night time sleep pattern. Oh and if like me you have to do that school run set an alarm. Yup Ive been guilty of over sleeping and leaving the kids at school, embarrassing!! 

I do hope you found this helpful, if you have B12 and have any other tips feel free to add them in the comments section. 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂 

Obsessed with slides – A summer footwear essential

Is anyone else out there getting a bit excited about the fact that summer is on it’s way? Silly question? 

I am, and starting to think about making a few purchases to update my summer wardrobe. Top of my list has to be a pair of slides. I can’t do heels, but some of these come with a bit of a flat wedge, meaning added height and comfort.

My search has become a bit of an obsession, I tend to get an idea in my head of exactly what I want then spend ages hunting down the perfect item. 

Anyway I thought it would be fun to share with you some of my favourites, that I have come across so far. 

 These ones from Deichmann are so simple and chic. They also come in black and a pale pink. At £17.99 they are a bit of a steal aswell. 

 

I love the tropical print on this pair from New look, £15.99 

Now this next pair by Sophia Webster at  Net A Porter I absolutely adore, at £195 they are way beyond my budget. One can dream I suppose. Here’s to hoping someone on the high street comes up with a dupe. 

  

This next pair are techniquelly not a slide but the flatform sole has the same feel. I love the pink jelly style. They also come in a cute purple colour. These are on offer at £10 from Wynsors world of shoes.  

 

There are plenty of slides to choose from out that so I don’t think it will be too hard for me to find my perfect pair. I shall keep you posted. 

Are you planning on any pre summer purchases? It’s very tempting now the sun is out, and the shops are brimming with new collections. 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂

Introducing Bowtown – Pretty accessories for young and old. 

Hi guys! Just a quick one for you today as I wanted to share with you these gorgeous hair accessories from new startup business Bowtown. 

All the accessories on offer are hand made, by my  talented Cousin Nicky. You can purchase from stock or she is able to customise  items to order.  There is a huge variety of colours to choose from, and you can have the bows made from either chunky glitter or leatherette.

 

What’s so great about these little headbands is that they can be worn in so many different ways. The bow is functioned on a removable clip that can be worn either on it’s own or with the Alice band. She even does a version that is suitable for babies. 

 

 

My 2 year old niece is modelling hers  quite proudly, she has named it her pretty. This set cost me £5, orders can be placed through Bow towns Facebook page here. Or you can also find her on instergram as BowtownBow.

   

   

In the spirit of diversification Bowtown will soon be launching shoe clips. I can’t wait to get my hands on a pair or two. I fancy some pastel leatherette bows for my pumps this spring. 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂

Versatile Blogger Award 

First up I want to apologise to Jayde, over at Jaydedanielle.com, who nominated me for this award. This post should have been up a wee while ago but alas I was procrastinating again as usual. Yup I’m a bugger for that! Anyways you should check out her blog, it’s great, I particularly like her style of photography. 

Having not been blogging for very long, well consistently since christmas, (before that you got a post once a month if you were lucky), it’s great to know that people are finding my little blog. I’ve definately caught the blogging bug now! Thank you Jayde for sharing my blog with others through the versatile blogger award, it means a lot. 

So the rules of this award state that I must share 10 random facts about myself, and then nominate 10 other bloggers. Errrr, some of them may actually a bit weirdly random, you have been warned.

1. I’m a complete and utter clutze, and very unladylike with it as well. On my wedding day I was all decked out in my finery, looking like a lady, but still managed to trip over, walking up the aisle. Umm it provided a few laughs I suppose!

2. I’m a pro at playing the recorder. I would drive my mum nuts as a kid playing it for hours. She has since got her own back though and bought my daughter one for her birthday, cheers mum!

3. I have a guilty secret in the form of my love of mills & boon romances. I blame my nan, I’m sure it was one of her books I picked up originally. I love a happy ending, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. 

4. My little sister and I were once Westlife Stalkers. In fact we quite regularly used to pop up in their video’s and on TV footage. We used to bunk of school to go to signings at tower records in Piccadilly Circus, I’m not a bad influence on her, honest. 

5. I can’t whistle, I’ve tried, I’m just crap at it. 

6. If you want to make me angry then tell me to ‘Chillax’. I hate that word, it’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull, I go nuts!

7. My first kiss, at 12, was so bad it scared me of boys till I was 16. It was a major cringe moment. 

8. I have approximately 106 lip products. I’ve banned myself from buying them several times, but still have no self control. I think I need to go to lipstick rehab. Does anyone know of such a thing exists, I need help clearly!

9. I have a bit of a coffee habit. Yup I love going for coffee, oh and cake, mustn’t forget the cake. That’s probably how I’ve managed to put 1 1/2 stone in the past year. Ooops.

10. My home life consists of 1 husband, 3 kids and a dog. We did have 5 fish aswell but one of then kept attacking the other fish. Bad fish! Alas they are all in fishy heaven now. 

Yes so that’s 10 random facts about me. I hope I haven’t scared you off to much. 

The bloggers I nominate are:

Beauty by trial

Brazenrouge

Cassandramyee

Tanya’s Runway

Fit Mum Diary

Desire4Beauty

lovejlaac

Whatsassays

Ashlieghsteaparty

Littlemonstergirlcomic

These are all bloggers that I follow and enjoy, some are beauty, some fashion, some lifestyle or as in LMGcomics case a talented Illustrator. What they all have in common though is credit for the great work they are doing. If you’ve been nominated before sorry, it just means you popular.  Do check out their blogs by following the links, I’m fangirling on them all right now. 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂 

Have You Registered to Vote Yet?

 

 Hi guys! So today on the blog I wanted to talk about something a little bit different. Politics. Yup! To some it’s a dirty word, others they have just found themselves in such a state of apathy surrounding all things political, that they just don’t think it’s relative to them, so abstain from getting involved. I think you know what I mean, that aged old line, ‘All parties are the same really, so why bother?’. 

These are the same people though that will bitch and moan about the state of the country. Well here’s what I have to say on the matter. Don’t just moan about it, vote and have your say. The upcoming general election is your chance to choose who will be leading your country for the next five years. The outcome will effect every single one of us, so it’s actually kind of a big deal. 

If you’ve been paying attention to the coverage of the run up to the general election, on 7th may, you may have noticed that this election is panning out to be a very close vote. We could even end up with another hung parliament. Having said that the two main political parties that stand a good chance of getting into power have very different plans for which way the country will be taken economically post election. It’s that other dirty word again ‘Austerity’.  

Mind you, if UKIP’s Nigel Farage has anything to do with it the key issues will be Europe And Immigration.

The smaller parties though will play a vital role post election, providing they win enough seats, in fighting their corner for the key issues that they stand for. We’re talking about, the environment, education, trident  and that other biggie devolution. This is why If you are inclined to vote for one of these parties, but don’t think they stand a chance of winning seats, and don’t usually bother, you must vote. Your individual vote actually counts, if enough non voters have their say it can make a difference. 

None of this matters though if you haven’t registered to vote. It’s easy, you can do it in five minutes online here. Just remember to do it before the cut off day, on the 20th of April. 

Will you be having your say, come 7th of May? I know I shall be casting my vote. 

Bye for now, Katy 🙂